Why we recommend “Homo History” Blog

Sat, 26 Jan 2013 15:55:38 +0000

Marriage Equality Logo © torbakhopper

As gay people, many of us had to grow up like cuckoos in the nest … hiding within families in which we would have been seen as the enemy, were we discovered.

In our desperation, we have looked outside of our families for signs that there are other people like us … and many time we have failed.

How is it that we failed?

As more time passes and facts come to light, we begin to learn that our histories were being rewritten by organisations like Hollywood and obfuscated by those who believed it was their duty to hide gay and lesbian people (and those in LGBT relationships) from society. If we/they couldn’t be seen, then we/they didn’t exist.

No wonder we have struggled to “come out” of an oppressive closet.

Fortunately, nowadays things are becoming brighter … we are not alone. In fact, we never really were. We are coming to re-learn certain facts about our collective forgotten & edited histories through modern courage: the film “J Edgar” shows us that Hoover had had a loving, long-term (probably unconsummated) relationship with Clyde Tolson. Photographs and stories of James Dean show us that wasn’t just someone with a passing “gay-curiosity”; he was actively engaged sexually with men and embraced his sexuality. Gay men didn’t just hang about secretly in underground caverns … they showed their love and relationships openly in family-style photographs (as well as being kept discretely in wallets).

Wait, what? There’s photographic evidence of loving gay relationships??!

It is with great pleasure & pride that Gay Couple Counselling.com recommends our readers look through the website Homo Histories ( http://homohistory.blogspot.co.uk/ ) packed full of vintage photographs of gay and lesbian couples clearly showing their affection for one another.

Reading through this blog, one begins to recognise how our history has been tipp-exed over and re-written. As we grew up we were fed lies and the truth about the people we were searching for was covered over.

Reading Homo History gives one a refreshing sense that we existed, we were in healthy, loving and committed relationships, and that we and our loving relationships belong in society as much as any other married couple.

If ever we doubt ourselves again, websites like Homo Histories are there to remind us that we are not along, we love, and that we have always existed.

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Long-Distance LGBT Couple Counselling

Tue, 18 Dec 2012 14:57:07 +0000

'The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner' © Pilot Theatre

It’s not uncommon for gay and lesbian couple relationships to become successful over long distances.

Whether the couple began through meeting online through services like Grindr, Gaydar, Qrushr Girls etc, or began through meeting in person whilst on holiday, gay men and lesbian women can find themselves in love with someone who lives in a different country (or a different town).

And just like all other long-distance relationships, as gay and lesbian people we suffer the struggles to get into the country of our loved one.

But unlike heterosexual couples, our long-distance relationships can struggle to have our relationships and their loved ones recognised by the country to which we wish to emigrate.

Our relationships pose a unique set of conflicts and stresses that can damage our intimate couple relationships.

Counselling for LGBT Long-Distance Relationships.

Why? Well, couples in long-distance relationships can suffer the same struggles and conflicts as couples who live together.

Long-distance LGBT relationships can struggle with a unique set of problems, specific to living in different countries (or different towns).

Maintaining a non-physical relationship over Skype can be difficult (but can be creative!).

LGBT couples in long-distance relationships need to learn how to communicate in different ways than from couples who are living together; Gay Couple Counselling can help with that. When the relationship is struggling to stay together, consulting a qualified gay couple counsellor can be a great help to keeping the relationship going.

Conflicts in Long Distance Relationships.

How familiar do these problems seem to you … we tackle matters like this in a majority of cases:-

Learning how to understand your partner (and avoid assumptions about what’s being said to you).
Learning how to stay with a conversation when topics become difficult.
Learning how to offer support to your partner, even when you’re feeling low yourself.
Learning courage in how to ask your partner about things (things that, perhaps, seem easier to assume).
Learning about closed-relationships & open-relationships and how to discuss and negotiate a successful long-distance contract.

Begin Counselling for Long Distance LGBT Couples.

Dean Richardson MBACP(accred) – specialist in gay couple counselling

Dean Richardson specialises in therapy for gay couples in long-distance relationships. Dean’s intention is to make counselling for gay couples in different countries (or same country, different towns) easy to understand and easy to begin.

It’s important that you both can make an informed decision about counselling – Dean will help you both with that.

Not until you and your partner are sure that you want to try counselling will you begin with a one-off session.

Skype LGBT Couple Counselling.

Long-distance couple counselling is achieved through Skype video conferencing … so you and your partner will need a Skype account, a device capable of running Skype software, and a place of privacy for 50 minutes a week.

Come and say Hello!

So, simply say “hello” and tell Dean what you and your partner are looking for. Dean will email you with options to think about and we can discuss arrangements from there.