Gay men Archives - Gay Couple Counselling (UK)

Sex and Intimacy: Conflicting Concepts in Gay-Male Couples?

Sun, 29 Jul 2012 14:14:31 +0000

Gay Male Couples who Struggle with the concepts of “Sex” versus “Intimacy”.

"Who wants Mangoes?" © robstephaustralia

Through my private therapy practice for gay couples, it has been my experience to learn that a significant number of gay men confuse “relationship intimacy” as being the same as “sexual intercourse”.

These same gay men are surprised to learn that whilst there is an important overlap between intimacy and sex, the two concepts are distinct and have important differences.

A Gay Man’s History of Intimacy effects his behaviour in Couple Relationships.

When a gay couple working in couple counselling bring their sex lives into focus, a therapeutic air of curiosity and interest encourages the revelation of what each partner understands about intimacy, sex and love. When we compare what both partners have learned of these concepts we can begin to see significantly root-sources of the problems the couple are bring into couple therapy.

Some gay men have never seen another two men (gay or otherwise) being intimate (i.e. affectionate) with each other. Some gay men have never seen their own parents show intimate affection towards each another. Such men entering an intimacy couple relationship with another gay man may face crises: how does his lack of understanding about intimacy translate into a live & loving gay couple relationship?

Some gay men negotiate their way from being oblivious about intimacy along with their life-partner. Some gay men don’t make the transition.

Couple relationships containing both kinds of men can be successful when the partners are compatible. Conflicts arise when each partner exhibits contradictory intimacy-behaviour.

So … what is intimacy, really…

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 next page »

About (author)…

Couple Therapy with Gay Men

Fri, 15 Jun 2012 17:41:22 +0000

“Couple Therapy with Gay Men”.

Authors: David E. Greenan & Gil Tunnell.

ISBN: 1-57-230-808-7

Very easy to read and written in a friendly, non-technical language. The authors begin by summarising some of gay history (Stonewall etc.) in order to outline how gay male couples have grown to manage their visibility (or lack of) in society and how the partners manage this. Whilst the book is getting on for 10 years now (and some of the comments about marriage, etc., are getting out of date) the therapeutic methodology described (which they describe as “circular” but is also a known as form of systemic family therapy) is still very relevant and practised by GayCoupleCounselling.com therapists.

This was one of the first books we studied regarding therapy and gay men.

View Couple Therapy with Gay Men (Guilford Family Therapy) on Amazon.co.uk

[toc_disable]

About (author)…

Psychoanalytic Therapy & The Gay Man.

Sat, 09 Jun 2012 17:22:28 +0000

“Psychoanalytic Therapy & The Gay Man”.

Author: Jack Drescher, M.D.

ISBN: 0-88163-208-2

Jack Descher is a gay man – and a psychoanalyst. There was a time when gay men were not allowed to be psychoanalysts because being gay was considered as a mental illness. Drescher has gathered a lot of information regarding the analytic therapy of gay men and writing as a gay psychoanalyst the book comes across as helpful, friendly and useful.

This was one of the first books we studied regarding therapy and gay men.

View Psychoanalytic Therapy and the Gay Man on Amazon.co.uk

[toc_disable]

About (author)…