Five Secrets of Happier Gay Couples

Posted by on 6 Sep, 2012 in Gay Relationships | 0 comments

Five Secrets of Happier Gay Couples

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In Conclusion: how gay couples make long-term relationships work

Five Secrets of Happier Gay Couples
"5-4-3-2-1" © Steven DePolo

In couple therapy, helping a gay couple to disengage with what they thought was supposed to be the right way to behave in their relationship and helping them to engage creatively and with inspiration about what they would both like in the form of behaviours can contribute enormously to making their relationship work for them.

From a psychodynamicPsychodynamics is the theory and systematic study of the psychological forces that underlie human behavior, especially the dynamic relations between conscious motivation and unconscious motivation.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychodynamics
perspective, we being in a lot of unresolved material from our childhoods and growing-up periods; gay men and women especially. We the conflicts, suppress the memories, and try to live life forgetful about our pasts.  Then our partner (unintentionally) does something that triggers off a response in us … a response that’s from our distant and buried pasts … and we respond to our partner with fireworks.  This would be where psychodynamic / systemicSystemic therapy is a branch of psychotherapy that works with families and couples in intimate and platonic relationships to nurture change and development. It tends to view change in terms of the systems of interaction between family members.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_therapy
couple therapy would be an appropriate and effective form of help

Alternatively, our secure and containing relationship avoids the trigger and our relationship contain and sooth the bad reminders from our pasts.

… after all, there’s simply no relationship quite like ours, if we’re ready to believe this is so 🙂


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