Five Secrets of Happier Gay Couples
Posted by on 6 Sep, 2012 in Gay Relationships | 0 comments
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#1) Couple recognise that their relationship as unique.
He’s not your father. Your behaviour is not the same as his brother.
We all carry baggage into the relationship – and unconscious baggage is the most vulnerable. You meet for the first time, you both get on great, neither of you disturbs the other in any way, you move in together, and you find he leaves his dirty laundry in the bedroom (and when you did this all those years ago your mother punished you unfairly with emotional bullying) …
Countdown to the argument? Or a matter to deal with in reality (he is not reminding you of your historical-punishment, his behaviour is).
In couple therapy, part of my role as therapist is to provide safe environment to promote the couple coming up with ideas and solutions of their own. Their relationship is unique, and so should be the partnership’s solutions. It requires the partners to be able to listen and hear each other. Even when our partner is sound a little crazy about our socks being left on the floor (OK, it’s only the tenth time), our calm and understanding response to our partner – not matter how much we’re being pulled into an argument – may just be the cooling calamine lotion this situation needs to avert disaster.
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