Sex and Intimacy: Conflicting Concepts in Gay-Male Couples?
Posted by on 29 Jul, 2012 in Gay Relationships | 1 comment
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Starting the Therapeutic Approach towards Intimacy Change.
"Us, Drying" © CarbonNYC
Changes in gay male relationships are perfectly possible – and I will not say that they’re easy. Change can be very difficult.
Introducing safe, satisfying intimacy is perfectly possible when the couple are fully involved in designing their own “cure” in systemicSystemic therapy is a branch of psychotherapy that works with families and couples in intimate and platonic relationships to nurture change and development. It tends to view change in terms of the systems of interaction between family members.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_therapy couple therapy. The couple remain in charge of what changes that are to go into the relationship; the systemic therapist is there to greatly assist the couple in seeing what their relationship prevents them from seeing.
Being a systemic approach, the systemic counsellor facilitates the couple into designing their own relationship changes (as opposed to, say, some other therapy’s claim to repair the couple’s relationship on the couple’s behalf).
Taking a sloooooooow’d down approach, taking time to understand what fuels the relationship’s conflicts, can help both men achieve changes in their relationship-intimacy.
After all, we couple therapists would like the couple to make changes that are not only going to help the relationship, but are also going to be able to “stick” after the counselling relationship is ended.
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Note – since I wrote this article I’ve received helpful feedback telling me that this behaviour is also experienced (and acted out…) by some lesbian women too.